This I envision nine months ago..
Welcome a baby.
Breathe the moment.
Savor each twinkling time. Drink it, suck it in.
And I would weave every bits and pieces of such phenomenal event into words.
And tell a story.
Fast forward to today, it did happen as I envisioned it to be. Only that poop and pee, baby's endless crying sprees, breast milk pumps and soiled diapers got in the way. Hence, it took me awhile to reel off the tale.
This is little Geb's birth story.
Summer of 2010, after a slew of unsuccessful meet-ups with Brian (now husband), we finally chance upon each other at a public swimming pool. With a mobile phone that literally died on me, it would have been impossible to run into him amidst the huge crowd. It has been over ten years since I saw him last. But he found me. In the thick of sunny-blue skies and scorching heat of Summer 2010, and the throng of people at the public pool- he found me.
That very episode in my life, for whatever entangled intent the entire universe had for us, little did I know.
Second week of August, I struggled into three strips of pregnancy tests, all revealed the same. Two lines. Positive. No, I wrestled the thought of them being positive as the first line appeared bright red and pale pink next to it. So off I went to see an OB days later who happily declared I'm DEFINITELY pregnant. I remember feeling light-headed when I left the clinic, perhaps in disbelief. But nonetheless, I was excited. Seeing my baby, what was then a small clump of blood in my womb, was the most precious thing.
my 16-week old bump
All in all, I had a smooth pregnancy. I am blessed. No complications. The baby and myself aced all our lab tests. Naturally there were innumerable discomforts, plus I had it in the long course of winter season. Boy, how I dreaded the need to wear socks, warmers and leggings the whole time!
By week 36, we had the essentials ready- baby things, crib, car seat, hospital bag. Add to that, I pestered Brian on making sure he takes lots and lots of photos during labor and delivery- all should be in perfect angles, no less. Hee.
April 18, past the due date, my OB proposed to perform an induction within the week to ensure baby's safety. Given the opportunity to choose the date of delivery, Brian and I unanimously agreed to welcome our little guy on the 22nd. That apparently falls on a Good Friday, but we didn't care.
Later that day, we couldn't contain the excitement to see our baby in four days. Well, I was scared to some extent because for the life of me, my tolerance level for pain is unbelievably way down low. Even so, I was ready I couldn't wait. Brian and I went for a short walk that evening. On our way out, I mindlessly told the sister-in-law I might deliver sooner, possibly that night. But for anyone who'd hear me hunch the same thing for three weeks, you really won't take me seriously anymore.
I slept about 3am of April 19 (Holy Tuesday), only to get stirred up thirty minutes later as I was sweating furiously I couldn't get back to sleep. There were cramps, abdominal cramps that eventually progressed into mild contractions with pain extending around my lower back. I immediately suspected that was it. I'm in labor. The real thing. With that in mind, I tried to calm myself and waited some minutes more until I felt a sudden gush of water 'down there'. I rushed to the bathroom thinking I accidentally peed- but I didn't. I was sure. My water bag broke, that is. My 9-month long google probing told me so. So I frantically awakened Brian, grabbed our hospital bag, packed more and unpacked some, debated on what to wear and whatnot- those we managed to tussle in between my semi-regular contractions.
Past 6am, we reached the hospital in my printed grey pajama + an ill-fitting black and fuschia stripy top ensemble (awful combo, I know). My contractions were already five minutes apart, I was screeching out of pain. After scads of paper work from the Admission's Office and Nurse's Station, they had me slipped on my hospital gown and settled in bed around 7am.
I have never been hospitalized nor stricken with any major illness, I have to say. Thus, I squirmed at IV's, needles and the tidy sum of poking that day. The contractions got pretty intense by 9am, 4x in ten minutes, and yet I was only 4cm dilated (babies are delivered at 10cm when cervix is fully open). For cervix to dilate enough, they introduced a drug oxytocin along with my IV, making the contractions stronger and come more often. Oxytocin apparently stimulates the uterus to help it push out the baby faster. Indeed the contractions went full force shortly after injecting the drug. At 11am, the pain was already off the wall I screamed for epidural (anesthesia) a gazillion times! By then, I squeezed Brian's arms harder I wanted to reach his shirt, tore it into pieces out of my misery. Truth be told, lami na kaayo ipanumbag sa kasakit. Hee. I was a bit relieved amidst my agony when the anesthesiologist showed up in the delivery room past 12noon to administer the epidural. Little did I know I was up for another ordeal, click THIS so you'll know what I mean. You bet I howled really loud, like a pig about to be roasted, that the procedure took longer than usual. I could see the nurses faces, Brian's and the doctor too- getting impatient.
Fifteen minutes post-epidural, it's amazing how I transformed from a howling pig into an awesome, cuddly pup. I was absolutely numbed to perfection. But while I rejoiced feeling no pain finally, I noticed more nurses getting in and out of the room doing their thing like greased lightning. My OB burst in, just seeing her made me nervy. I heard her explained something. But there were only mere words, I couldn't comprehend.
Heart rate.. risk.. deliver..c-section.
C-SECTION!
I immediately turned to Brian, who looked more startled than I was. Soon after, I found myself in the Operating Room in warp speed. Ah, I can still imagine how intimidating that place can be. Those strange equipment, the big bright lights. Even just looking at the OR table exigently convey you'll be sliced up any minute. Truly, I have never been that scared stiff in my entire life!
I was conscious when they did the whole thing, but I had zero view on what went on. There was a mantle of blue paper cloth in front of me so I see no one but Brian who stayed at my side all throughout the operation. My body was ultra numb I couldn't lift a finger, so I didn't feel anything (thank God!). Not a single thing. My mind swirled nowhere, while I catch my breath. I was really, really scared; I kept mumbling "I can't breathe!". I thought I'd die that instant. I asked Brian days later on what he felt during the first few seconds of little Geb's life. You know how they'd lift the babies upside down by their feet as soon as they pop out? With c-section, you'll never get to see such prized moment. Unfortunately, Brian missed it too! Seeing me clearly in distraught distracted him long that he missed a glimpse of Geb up there.
I heard my baby's first cry exactly 29 minutes after I landed on the operating table.
Brian did the honor of cutting Geb's umbilical cord
Picture out a first time Mama, all sweaty and tearful from excruciating labor, who finally gave birth and crying more out loud (tears of joy, ei?) when the baby is handed to her.
Those string of emotions.
So beautiful.
No, I didn't had such moment. I was completely vegged out I could hardly keep my eyes open.
As to why on earth I gave birth through c-section when all the while I was confident I won't? Geb was only 3.5lbs at 32 weeks when he should be somewhere 4-5lbs, it made us worry that his size is way behind but it also gave us the notion that I'll deliver him normal given his growth pattern (OB said he's gonna be a small baby). So back at the delivery room, when my contractions were so strong around 1-2 minutes apart, Geb's heart rate went down. I had to deliver him straight away but my cervix didn't efface as much. With such small opening, my OB was reluctant to perform vaginal birth as she was quite certain the baby won't fit. It was too risky.
tatay Brian held Geb the very first time
I had a nerve-racking labor and delivery, yes.
But I have this as my prize...
A friend lovingly quipped we did a great job with this baby.
I think so too.
He is too cute. I can't believe he's ours. Hee.
